Day 4
Date: 24-May-2025
Theme: Catch the Inner Critic
What I Did Today
It was a relaxed day without any fights or anxiety. I didn’t do any of the other goody goody things like good food choices or walk for 10 mins etc. However I did spend most of my time with Little-R – playing multiple rounds of Uno. She won some of them too. We went to two restaurants today. It was good. Cold war with Li is on as usual.
What I Felt
I am battling multiple inner voices saying a myriad of things – all of them culminating in the final suggestion to give up. “This AI thing is ridiculous“….”You will become a laughing stock if people know this IRL“…”This is not doing anything to reduce your weight“…”You look like shit anyway what is the point“… and so many other things.
I kept a daily alarm on my phone around 10:00 PM to write this – but today I just silenced it. Perhaps the voices won again and I thought of giving up. Would have wiped this domain clean again and try to start again may be.
However I didn’t do that. Right around the time this post is going live – I had an urge to do the basic commitment for the day – writing a daily journal. I was supposed to gently challenge an inner voice. Perhaps this post is it. I am still here. Even if it was the most minimum thing I could do – I am at least writing this and will make another promise below.
Having said that, the AIs response to my last post was disheartening. I am worried about what kind of response will I get for this one. It has been eating at me all day. Of all the voices – this was the strongest.
What I’m Learning About Myself
My inner voices are loud. Like screeching demons who still believe that I am going to fail. They will simply not disappear. I cannot wait for the voices to cease for me to do something for myself. I will have to take steps inspite of the voices. Perhaps I will use
One Thing I’ll Do Tomorrow (micro-promise)
Tomorrow I’m supposed to do one thing that brings calm or joy. I have an idea about this – I will do something that am sure will bring in calmness. I’ll add a photo.