Every time I go for a test, I keep reminding myself to not build expectations. But as the day gets closer, I can’t help but think of all the wonderful ways I would break the news to Li. How wonderful I would feel. How awesome it would feel to finally start looking at cars to buy. How fantastic it would be to actually start the home buying process.
Between now and the test I must ground myself. Make a plan with what do if I fail. My instructor wasn’t wrong in saying ‘expect to fail’. I have not removed the pinned chats for DL test dates. I have created playlist of videos that I will watch again if I fail.
What worries me is – its at bloody 7 in the morning on a Saturday. Its quite possibly the best time to have the test – my instructor says. Its very hard to not be hopeful. Its very hard to expect to fail in the most ideal of circumstances.
What a punch-in-the-gut this will be if I fail. Whatever it will be – I don’t have a choice but to go through with it again. Its like a running a cheese grater on my skin hoping the colour of my flesh will come out in a particular shade of pinkish-red. If it doesn’t, I’ll have to give it time to heal and run the cheese grater again.