Day 7
Date: 27-May-2025
Theme: Revisit a Memory (Journal a moment when you felt proud of yourself.)
What I Did Today
It was a day of drowning in work. I don’t mind it. Its a good escape. I just remembered the reasons why I migrated to this country and how it all didn’t make sense anymore. But then again – I know I am in servitude only till the day I am under a sponsored visa. Its ok – I’ll endure somehow.
Today was not a day of measured choices. In fact today is the day I thought I would give up on all this – the 5 to 6 day mark. I thought of walking a little as well – but in the chaos of home and work, it sort of got away from me. I will make a focussed effort towards walking tomorrow.
What I Felt
It was hard for me to remember the last time I felt proud of myself. Genuinely proud? Where I actually put effort and got something done? Followed through? It was 20 years ago. Some presentation on building materials from my engineering days. I had won a prize then. God, I hope it isin’t a fantasy of mine that the brain has since made into reality. Since then everything I’ve done seemed like a fluke. I know it sounds weird. 20 years and no achievements that I’m proud of ? Any note-worthy achievement seems like it really wasn’t me alone. Others helped always. Family, colleagues, strangers. I’ve done nothing that I’m proud of really.
What I’m Learning About Myself
I don’t have any proud memories within the past 20 years. I never really thought of it this way. I’m surprised. I know its not normal. But that’s the truth I feel.
One Thing I’ll Do Tomorrow (micro-promise)
Tomorrow I’ll imagine myself 6 months from now and think of where I want to be. I hope to God its something positive.