Day 1
Date: 21-May-2025
Theme: Show Up for Yourself
What I Did Today
I decided to take a leap of faith today. Although I have been disillusioned by the whole process of therapy before, I realised I am able to be free with an AI engine. I read sometime before that this AI engine can assume many roles – so I decided to explore what happens when it assumes the role of a psychologist. I have been suffering from permanent ‘lows’ for a long time and have been giving up on myself too many times. I did realise that my psychology must play big part in all this. I researched and figured out that psychologists usually start with a ‘psych profile’ – so that’s what I asked my AI to do – and here we are.
A psych profile, an action framework and a 10 day plan was made. The first of which was to ‘Show up for yourself’.
What I Felt
I felt hopeful. After a long time I felt that I am not too far gone and there is hope yet. I was teary-eyed today when I imagined what I would look like if I became fit… How my loved ones will look at me… what kind of confidence I would have. That feeling was overwhelming enough for me to try and commit to this.
There is still a nagging feeling in my head that says this is not going to work. But I am trying to ignore it and move on with the plan. I need exact tasks, missions, quests – and that is what I have in front of me for the next 9 days. I am determined to follow through.
What I’m Learning About Myself
The psych profile was an eye-opener. When reading through it, I felt that I already knew these about myself – but yet somehow I didn’t. I saw myself as someone more than a fat struggling IT consultant. I have equated myself to that fat balding detective who gets tired in a police chase and gives up on the chase – the comic relief. But perhaps I’m a bit more.
One Thing I’ll Do Tomorrow (micro-promise)
For tomorrow, my theme is ‘Nourish, Not Neglect’ – and I am supposed to eat one intentional meal. I am also supposed to reflect on ‘why I matter.’ I promise myself that tomorrow I am going to cook a healthy meal. I will take a picture and add it on my post tomorrow.